6 things... (happiness version)

This little guy's name is Yoshi. He hangs out in Erik's office all day, and sometimes dresses up in Prada jackets and toggle coats. In other words, Yoshi's wardrobe is more stylish than mine. His doggy face (and the fact that Erik texts me pictures of his get-ups) make me laugh. Here are six other things, big and small, that are smile-worthy:

1. Trader Joe's fig spread. If you haven't tried it already, get thee to a TJ's ASAP!!!
2. This Polaroid of my dad. It's on my tack board, so I can look at his cute face when I miss him.
3. The Nitehawk Cinema in Williamsburg. At long last, there's a movie theater within walking distance of our apartment. And you can even eat yummy food and drink beers (hello, pumpkin!) during the film. We saw Drive there last weekend (hello, Ryan Gosling!), which was violent but good.
4. This free mixed tape from Erik and company. Go download it. It's super fun for dancing around your apartment.
5. Our morning routine. Every morning, when Erik wakes up, Monkey rushes to snuggle and I take little 10-minute break to join in. Hands down, the best part of my day.
6. This adorable (and amazing) entry about the NYC Marathon.

snip, snip

So, I went in for a trim today and left with long bangs. I'm not totally sold on them yet. No wonder you're not allowed to get your hair cut while sitting shiva! You make rash, impulsive decisions. Ah, well, it'll grow back...

Edited to add: Erik hasn't even noticed! Isn't it funny how things that seem so huge and glaring are barely noticeable to others? I thought it was a nice little life lesson reminder for me. :)

marathon weekend

I just love watching so many people making their dreams come true. A bunch of us gathered to cheer on our friends and, although I missed seeing most of them (boo!), it was still so inspiring. I'm crossing my fingers that, next year, one of those runners will be me!

embracing change

Phew! I finally pushed through my insane week! Between Europe and then Raleigh and all of the changes that ensued, my life has been go-go-go lately. And now that I finally have a little time to stand still, my emotions are bubbling to the surface. Here's a rundown:

* I feel sad about my dad. It really, really sucks that he won't get to walk me down the aisle or meet any of his grandkids.
* I feel nervous about my mom being alone. After her stroke, her mobility is limited, but she refuses to move closer to us until we're more settled (i.e., with kids). I worry about her loneliness and her health.
* I feel stressed about changing my life. I'm going to visit mom once a month to hang out, take her to the doctor, iron out survivor stuff. I'm mostly happy to do it, but the selfish part of me is like "eeps" about travelling back-and-forth. When I'm there, I miss my life, my friends, and Erik and Monkey.

I know it's my happy-go-lucky personality to find the silver lining in every situation, because there are so, so, so many things in my life to be thankful for, but I also have to remind myself that it's okay to feel sad and frustrated, too. I guess life is a little like surfing in that way: You have to give into to fear and washing-machine wipeouts in order to get better and ride out the waves.

almost five years!

The other day I was telling Erik that one of the hardest things about losing your dad is that you're also losing your rock. All of a sudden, the person who would do anything to protect you is inexplicably gone. It's an unsettling feeling, no longer having that deep sense of security. But, over the course of the week, after Erik rubbed my back, made me laugh and gave me his crinkly-eyed smile as I fussed and freaked, it occurred to me: He's my rock now. Over the (nearly!) five years we've been together, he's constantly made me feel safe, supported and loved. And even though he might show up breathless because he's run from a work crisis, he's always been by my side when I've truly needed him. I can't imagine my life without this guy.

when they were young

While trying to track down some naturalization papers, I unearthed these old pics of my mom and dad when they were college-aged. Do you think Tim and I resemble them? I think I have my mom's face shape and my dad's eyes and lips, and Tim is exactly the reverse. I just love looking at old pictures.

ughhhh

Here's me being straight up: This week sucks. Big time. Since I didn't work much last week (family first!) and had some trouble concentrating when I got back, I'm currently up to to my eyeballs in deadlines right now. Grace period over. Sigh. Sleep, exercise and sadness are taking a backburner while I just try to plow through everything as quickly and efficiently as possible. But maybe this is helping me take my mind of things? Regardless, I'm looking forward to the weekend. While I run away on my hamster wheel, please enjoy this pic of an amazing sideshow from the NC State Fair. I want a cute two-headed raccoon!

Silver lining: I'm so glad I have a cute boyfriend who gives me bear hugs when I'm blue and doesn't mind the fact that I've worn the same sweatshirt three days in a row...and friends who message me silly things that make me smile throughout the day. Oh, also, I can't forget my thoughtful and devoted brother, who I know I can always count on.