pregnancy lately: 25 weeks

Just finished up my 25th week of pregnancy… One more week left of my second trimester!

How I'm feeling: Pretty good! I'm still on the sluggish side, but I think that's because I've been trapped inside because of the constant snow and freezing weather. Also I've been going bananas getting ready for our move, which has been energy-draining to say the least. My belly's gotten big enough that it's in the way of things; I'm starting to swell like a water balloon; and people can tell that I'm pregnant. Still can't get a seat on the subway, though. For real, L train?

What I'm wanting: All the food; my appetite is in high gear. For the most part, I eat whenever I'm hungry, which is every two hours or so, but I try to stick with nutritious foods. (Well, except for that Minetta Tavern Black Label Burger and Junior's cheesecake … getting those last NYC treats in.) Lately, I'm all about acai smoothies, mangoes, red meat, and cheese. I gained 10 pounds last month (!), putting me at 15 pounds total. It's fun to be curvy for once!

What I'm surprised about: I have to do a double-take every time I pass by a mirror. My belly button is starting to poke outwards. It's amazing what the body can do. I'm pleased how I'm taking things in stride. Because of our move, we've done almost nothing to prep for baby, except for sign up for a childbirth class. Normally, I'd be in a tizzy, but it's not really bothering me at all. I figure we'll get it all done once we get settled in Los Angeles.

What I miss: Starting to get separation anxiety about leaving my dear friends in NYC. Also I've been dying for Chipotle, but Erik is so nervous about E. coli that I haven't been eating it. That didn't stop me from staring longingly in the window like a creeper for a good few minutes. Ha.

What I love: Being pregnant is an amazing experience. I didn't think I'd feel this way, but I'm constantly in awe and so proud that I'm CARRYING ANOTHER PERSON. I'm grateful for this opportunity, especially knowing how hard other couples have it when it comes to conceiving. To hear her heartbeat and feel her kicks in my belly … it's indescribable! Sometimes I feel like my heart is going to burst, and she's not even born yet.

a little old, a lot new

Can you believe all of that food was just $20? I spent last week with my mom in North Carolina, and we had lunch at K&W Cafeteria one day. This relic has not changed in decades. It has the same weird-patterned carpet and 65-plus clientele. I was immediately transported to childhood when I grabbed my plastic tray and answered the "heeeullp yeewww?"s down the buffet line. There's the same menu: Southern classics like Jell-O salad, roast beef, fried okra, and a pie assortment. There's even a gross bowl of mints with a spoon at the check-out. Take that, health department!

I think I clung to K&W's sameness because everything else in my life is in flux. Much of our stuff is boxed up, and we're starting to clear out our furniture on Craig's List. This trip to NC will be my last time seeing mom until the fall - after we add another person to our family. The chaos surrounding change is always a little unsettling, but I'm doing my best to embrace this next adventure in our life!

meeting grandpa

Today I took baby to meet her gong gong. I miss him more than ever, because I know he'd be over the moon about being a grandpa. He always lit up around kids, especially babies. When she gets older, I'll tell her all about my dad and how he was the most selfless, kind, hard-working, and devoted dad. It's because of him that I waited to find a man for myself with all those qualities.

And it's because of him that I know I'll love my daughter unconditionally. I hope I'm at least half the parent as he was to me. Love you always, Babi. xo

beginning of good-bye

T minus 18 days! I can't believe my 15-year run in NYC is coming to an end. While we're ready for our next chapter, I'm starting to get all the feels. Yesterday, we went on one of our favorite pastimes, a Manhattan walkabout. We started at Babies-R-Us to do some baby gear research, which was like entering another universe. Who knew there was so much stuff at such astronomical prices? Erik had me cracking up the whole time with his running commentary. We're going to the same approach as we did for our wedding: Trim excess, tune out the you-oughtas, and find what works for us.

Afterwards, we grabbed a chocolate babka at Breads Bakery in Union Square, wandered through Washington Square Park and the village, and snacked on a Mamoun's falafel. For dinner, we split a huge pastrami reuben at Katz's. I had never made it to this NYC institution before, and it didn't disappoint. The pastrami was tender and delicious, and the atmosphere was classic. Check one off of my must-do-before-we-move list!

freelance life: maternity leave

When it comes to freelancing, there are countless benefits: the freedom, home office, a cute furry coworker, flexible vacation days. I've been so thankful that I can take a nap in the middle of the day. (Seriously, pregnant office workers, how do you do it?)

Unfortunately, paid maternity leave is not one of the perks.

Figuring out maternity leave as a freelancer isn't easy. I worry that if I drop out of the market, editors will forget about me, and I'll never work again. Of course, that's catastrophic, but there is an element of truth to it. Plus, I love my career and don't want to give up my salary.

So here's our plan: I'm taking two complete months off after baby's birth. Since I'm on contract at a few places, I notified those editors in advance, and offered a few strategies (finding a fill-in person or shuffling around the deadlines). They were all lovely and accommodating. In August, I'll come back part time to those editing gigs — and then feel out what I can do with my other piecemeal work. Since Erik is planning on working from home until he finds an office space, I figure I'll be able to carve out at least two days worth of work per week, broken into chunks. But I'm keeping an open mind, because who knows what reality will be like; at some point, I imagine we'll find part-time childcare.

In the meantime, I've been front-loading this year. In other words, I'm meeting deadlines like mad. It works out, since I'm mostly home-bound this winter anyways. I've made enough headway into my year-end goal to feel comfortable about the unexpected post-baby.

All in all, I feel like it's a good deal. I'm stoked that we have the flexibility to stay home with our little one and still pursue our career dreams and ambitions.

pregnant surfing

One of the hardest things about pregnancy is putting things you love on hold -- sushi, alcohol, soft unpasteurized cheeses. For me, charging challenging waves is also on that list. Even so, I had fun surfing through my fourth month and probably would've kept going, if it wasn't for winter's snowstorms, freezing water temps, and top-entry 5/4 wetsuits. Since most of the stories I read on pregnant surfing came from pros like Bethany Hamilton and seasoned water-women, I thought I'd blog my experience.

Some background: I've been surfing for about four years. I have a good grasp on catching waves, going down the line, and doing some turns, but I'm by no means amazing; I still wipe out during sessions. Here are some lessons I learned and things I did while pregnant surfing:

1. Surfed the leftovers. For me, my greatest concern wasn't wiping out; it was getting hit by another board. My break is crowded Rockaway, so I always opted for the emptier beach, even if it wasn't breaking as nicely. I also avoided crowds by sitting away from the peak.

2. Swallowed my pride. To avoid wipe-outs, I only went for waves that I knew I could make for sure, which meant passing up steeper waves where I was in prime position. I trusted my instinct; my protective urges were already in high gear. Once in a while, I got a "that scared girl blew it" looks, which, if you know me, is the thing that pisses me off the most! But then I'd envision my baby, safe in sound inside, and my annoyance would immediately disappear.

3. Told people in the lineup. Even before the second trimester, I told my surf buddies that I was preggo. I'd also mention it to other surfers I'd chat with in the water -- just in cased anything happened, and also so they'd be careful around me. I joked with my friends that I wanted to write "PREGNANT" or "BABY ON BOARD" on my wetsuit to keep people from dropping in me.

4. Accounted for the extra weight. In my third and fourth months, I started to notice that I wouldn't make waves that I'd normally make - because of the extra belly weight. So I took that into account, and sat a tiny bit deeper and skipped the "maybe…" waves. I surfed my 5'10" the whole time; it has plenty of volume and my 4/3 wetsuit provided enough padding to keep it from getting uncomfortable (although I tried to spend the least amount of time on my belly).

5. Ditched my board. I can duck-dive on smaller days, but on bigger days, I'll make it about half the time. If I ever felt like I wasn't going to make it on a paddle out, I'd dive deep and let my board go -- of course, only if I knew for sure I wasn't surrounded by anyone.

6. Protected my belly. Because I was so careful, I rarely wiped out, but when I did, I'd grab my belly first to shield it from a flying board.

7. Paddled in early. Usually, I'm the queen of four-hour surf sessions. But I forced myself to call it quits before I felt ready. With pregnancy, exhaustion and dehydration can hit like a ton of bricks out of nowhere. Also I know I'm less careful when I'm tired. So I paddled in before I was tired, and made sure that I ate and drank a ton on surf days.

8. Knew when to call it quits. I've had a little FOMO since I stopped, especially during these East Coast swells and our annual girls' trip to Costa. But, much to my surprise, I don't feel bad about it. Maybe it's that mom instinct kicking in, but keeping baby safe is my number-one priority, and everything else pales in comparison. Plus, I know that the waves will always be there -- and I'm sure I'll be back on my board in no time!


Bonus: Blurry baby on a baby wave in Rincon:

6 things...

…I did this week:

1. Did a TV appearance (see makeup-face above). Hosting and public speaking don't come naturally to me, and I usually spend the day or two beforehand scrambling to put together an appropriate outfit and feeling stressed. But I think it's important to do things that challenge and scare you, and force you to step outside of your comfort zone. In the end, it went great, and I had a fun time. Personal growth!
2. Felt grumpy. This week was a perfect storm for grouchiness: I was dealing with my nerves, deadlines, and pregnancy fatigue, while Erik was battling a nasty cold and business dealings. To add to that, we were trapped inside because of the snowy slushiness. It made me thankful we know how to defuse our irritation without taking it out on each other. The highlight was when Erik was trying to help, and I snapped, "Let me be angry and wash some dishes, dude! Aughhhh!" We both dissolved into giggles.
3. Hired movers. I still can't believe this is happening.
4. Got massaged. I've been dying for one, but pre-natal massages are so pricey. So I wandered into the Chinese bodywork place, and laid on my side to accommodate my growing belly. Best 50 bucks I've ever spent.
5. Had my wallet returned. On the way back from my massage, my wallet must've dropped out of my pocket, and I didn't even realize it! (Hello, pregnancy brain.) The sweetest woman buzzed my door and gave it back. What are the odds of that happening? I'm the luckiest.
6. Watched baby in my belly. I can see my belly move now with her little kicks!