Me: I'm going to skate under the bridge like a troll so no one looks at me.
Random passerby's with their iPhone cameras: click. click. click.
Me: What movie did you watch, Mom?
Mom: I don't understand it.
Me, looking at my Netflix history: Blue is the Warmest Color?
Mom: I don't understand it.
Me, referring to the young fellow I approached for Erik's upcoming campaign: Dude, I'm such an amazing model scout!
Model to Erik's team: Yeah, some lady gave me her info.
Rabbi during wedding ceremony: Remember to say "I love you" every single day.
Erik to me, in a whisper: You say it at least 40 times a day.
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