life with lola: four months!

We've gone from weeks to months, people! It's so crazy how having a baby completely changes your perception of time. Before Lola, four months could fly by with a, "Hey, how is it September already?" But having a gorgeous baby makes you realize how precious every second is: Lola's gone from a sleepy, puffy newborn to a full-on baby. She's holding her head up, almost sitting, and sizing into size-two diapers and six-month clothes. It's beautiful and bittersweet. I'm realizing that all of of those parenting cliches -- "they grow up so fast," "it's longest shortest time," and "enjoy this time" -- are repeated time and again for a reason.

How's Lola doing? She is truly the light of our life. She's such a happy, smiling baby, but when she's tired or hungry, she will let you know! She's very opinionated and determined, which I think will carry her far in life while giving mom and dad a few more gray hairs in the process. She's started laughing (the best sound in the universe!) and grasping for toys. Sleep-wise, she only wakes up a few times (around 2 a.m. and 5 a.m. or so), and naps 45 minutes every 60 to 90 minutes. She's still in our room in the bassinet, but I've been working on getting her to nap in the crib. Next up on our to-do list is trying to break the habit of rocking her to sleep...which will be more traumatic for me than her. Holding her little sleepy body and feeling her relax as she drifts off is one of life's greatest joys.

How are mom and dad doing? We've mostly settled into our groove as full-time parents and workers. I'd say that I'm back about one-half to two-thirds time, juggling deadlines during Lola's naps and before/after bedtime. That still leaves little to no Sharon-time, but, for now, I'm running with it. It's totally worth it to be able to stay home with Lola and soak up every minute with her. Hoping things will settle down as she gets older and isn't nursing all the time.

I'm super-proud of how much we've learned in these four short months! Being responsible for a little life such a drastic life change and learning curve, and it's definitely stressful and tough at times. But it's truly made life a zillion times better. Having Lola has deepened my love, strengthened our marriage, and given me a greater sense of purpose. I still can't believe I'm a mama!

life with lola: 15 weeks

Fell off the map there for a bit! We've been busy these past few weeks with growing, entertaining visitors, and finding our new groove as freelancer-parents. There's been a ton of learning, a bunch of smiles, and quite a few tears (from Lola and myself).

Not gonna lie, month 2.5 into 3 was rough for me. Just as I was trying to dip back into work, Lola went from a sleepy newborn to a demanding infant. We weren't strict about her nap/bedtime schedule, so she would get overstimulated and tired, setting off a cycle of fighting naps and wailing bedtimes. Plus, we had a series of visitors that threw our schedule for more of a loop... I was exhausted and overwhelmed!

But then a shift happened: We built a fairly regular schedule of naps every 60-90 minutes and a bedtime of 7-8. We also got more in tune with each other, and now I feel like I know what Lola's asking for and can meet her needs. And — oh, my heart! — Lola's social skills are growing, so she's been laughing, smiling, and responding up a storm. That, plus getting good sleep, has made us very happy parents.

It's hard to articulate parenthood, but the biggest thing I've learned is that there is SO. MUCH. JOY. It's beautiful looking at the world through her lens, and finding simple happiness throughout the day. Every morning, Lola wakes up laughing and I spend half an hour playing "wiggly legs" with her. Is there a better way to start the day? It's crazy the love you feel for your child! It doesn't hurt that she's the cutest baby that ever graced this earth (in my opinion).

We're still figuring out the balance between our old and new selves (is there one?), but I'm just cherishing this phase of life.

life with lola: nine weeks

I keep waiting for a chunk of time to be able to write a thoughtful and coherent post … and I'm realizing that's not going to happen. So here's a brain dump: Life with Lola at nine weeks has been beautiful, full, and, at times, challenging. For me, motherhood has unlocked another life level: My love is more intense, my highs are soaring (she's smiling at me!), and my lows are a true test of strength (why won't she stop crying?).

Lola's changing so quickly these days. Weighing in at a whopping 10 pounds, she's gone from a sleepy newborn to an alert two-month-old. She rewards us with smiles, watches us intently, and makes her displeasure known in the loudest red-faced way. Her little personality is starting to shine through, and it's the coolest thing.

As for me, I'm trying to figure out how to balance being Sharon with being mom, if that makes sense. Breastfeeding and tending to Lola takes up most of my day, and I'm still figuring out how to squeeze in some work and me time in there, too. I'm sure I'll work out this new version of myself with time.

All in all, I'm grateful to be able to stay home with Lola and soak up her perfect-ness. She's only this little once! And so, so thankful for Erik being the most supportive partner and the most loving dad. What a life … I'm the luckiest.

life with lola: eight weeks

I have so much to say and so little time, between juggling this curious, hungry baby and easing back into the writing life. In the meantime, I have to pose this question: WHY IS LOLA SO CUTE?! She's entering her smiley, responsive stage. Needless to say, Erik and I are totally smitten. Never thought I was a baby person … until I had my own. She's the best!

life with lola: five weeks

Just when I was feeling pretty cocky about motherhood ("why do people say this is so tough?"), Lola hit her four-to-five week growth spurt. Our sweet little thing has been pretty fussy lately. A few days ago, she cried and flailed almost around the clock. Oh my exhaustion. Erik and I traded off, which made me so grateful to have such a wonderful partner. I can't imagine doing this all on my own (mega-props to all those single mothers out there!).



The trade-off for the sleep deprivation? Our girl has made some developmental leaps. It's so cool to watch your kid change right before your eyes. She's watching and tracking objects, starting to coo, and rewarding us with smiles. Swoon!



Mom and Dad also made some milestones: We've been getting out! Our pediatrician recommended avoiding crowds for the first eight weeks (because a fever requires a hospital visit), so we haven't left the house much. That's been one of the hardest changes for me. Even though Lola and I go for a daily walk, I've been feeling a little stir-crazy. But Erik and I ate dinner al fresco the other night, and even made it to the beach.

I did flash my boob in front of a group of people to nurse, and Erik and I wound up eating our tacos over the trunk of our car because we didn't want to interrupt Lola's nap… but, hey, we're learning!

life with lola: four weeks

Can you believe that it's been a month since this little light entered our lives? I was going to write something eloquent about motherhood but, you know, newborns are kinda distracting. So here are some quick things that I want to remember about this sweet stage of life:

- Lola's sweet smell and fuzzy post-bath hair (totally got it from her daddy)
- Her old-man grunts and strains
- The way we immediately melt when she flashes that gummy smile
- Erik dancing around with her in his arms when she's being fussy (swoon!)
- Stroking the newborn fur on her shoulder and the dimples on her arm as she feeds
- Monkey's worried face at Lola's crying; her new nickname is "Nanny Monkey"




- The way Lola sighs and snuggles into me when we go for walks with the Solly Wrap
- The great satisfaction of a fart or burp
- High-fiving Erik when she nods off to sleep; so grateful to have such a wonderful co-parent
- The "oh no!" look we give each other when she wails after those two minutes of sleep
- The surge of love every time I gaze at her face. Turns out I love being a mom!

6 things…postpartum edition

I can't believe Lola is nearly three weeks old! Time is flying, and I'm trying to soak up as much as this precious teeny-tiny-baby time as possible. Erik, Monkey, and I are settling into a new routine as a family of three. The changes feel both monumental (we're raising a human!) and basic (should we try to leave the house today?).

I want to share my postpartum experience because I feel like everyone focuses on labor, but the week afterwards was tougher for me! Not only are you tending to this delicate little life, but your body is also grappling with recovering from this hugely traumatic event. I attribute a lifetime's worth of 5 a.m. swim practices, dawn patrols, and long training runs to giving me the physical stamina and mental fortitude that carried me through that first week!



Here are six things that I did/learned during this postpartum period:

1. I hurt all over. As soon as we got to the recovery room, my nurse handed me a gigantic cup of cranberry juice and encouraged me to use the restroom. I did, and it felt like the worst UTI in history. That was the beginning of the aches and pains! When I was feeding Lola, my midsection seized up in a knot. Was I dying?! "Oh, that's normal," said a nurse. "You'll have some cramping as your uterus shrinks." For the next week, I was hobbling, cramping, sleep-deprived hot mess. (Don't even get me started on when I had to do #2… somewhat traumatic.) It took me a little less than two weeks to feel normal again; I'm still not 100 percent, but almost there!

2. My boobs killed. To add insult to injury, my milk came in with a vengeance on day three. When I woke up, my breasts were huge (for me), rock-hard, and filled with the most intense pressure. I'd read that pumping would make things worse, so I held out. But the nurse technician took one look at my and my pained expression, and said, "Oh, no, honey, let me bring you the pump." It took a few days of gritted teeth, cold cabbage leaves, and Lanisoh ointment, but my supply has finally settled down and Lola and I have found our nursing groove.

3. I spend hours upon hours with a baby on my boob. Speaking of nursing, it takes up so much time! Newborns feed every two to three hours for 20 to 30 minutes. While I love the coziness of snuggling up with Lola and the surge of oxytocin, that's five or six hours a day of sitting without the use of both hands. I don't watch too much TV, so I've been catching up on social media, Googling baby-related topics, and chatting with friends by phone. It's so worth it, though; I'm so proud of her growing little baby rolls.



4. I tapped into inner strength. When Lola was two days old, she and I went back to the hospital for jaundice treatment. She had to sit in this ultraviolet light pod, stripped down to a diaper with a blindfold on to protect her eyes. She hated it, and wriggled and cried the whole time. I was running on maybe three hours of sleep for the past 48 hours, and my vagina/breast pain was at its most intense. I stayed up all night to soothe and change my poor little one. It was probably the most grueling nights of my life!

5. We're finding a groove. After that first tough week, our little family of three has learned so much about each other our rhythms. I pump a bottle or two during the day. Erik takes over from 9 p.m. to 2 a.m. while I sleep, and then we switch off, so we're both getting a decent amount of sleep. What a difference that makes.

6. We're head over heels. Of course we're in love with our baby. But what I didn't expect was how much fun she is: Even though she pretty much just sleeps, eats, and poops, we can't stop laughing at her old-man grunts and ever-changing expressions. Erik's the most devoted dad, and every little victory seems like an enormous success. Parenthood: It's not easy, but it's the best.

lola's birth story

It's been nearly two weeks since Lola joined our family in the most surprising way! I'll always remember that day, but wanted to share our birth story since the reality is always so different from the expected.



After our relaxing one-night stay in Palm Springs, Erik asked if I wanted to check out the area. I shrugged, "Nah, let's just go home." That's completely out of character for me -- I usually jump at exploring. We got home in the late afternoon. I made dinner and got ready for a busy work week. At 36 weeks, I was planning on banging out a last batch of deadlines before winding down for maternity leave.

Around 2 or 3 a.m., I waddled to the bathroom. After finishing peeing, more liquid came out. "Huh," I thought. "I must be entering the incontinence part of pregnancy." On went a pad, and I rolled back in bed. I woke again after a few hours and used the restroom; there were twinges of brown sediment in the fluid. I nudged Erik awake. "Maybe it's your mucus plug," he mumbled sleepily. A Google search revealed, as with any pregnancy-related question, a zillion different answers, including "YOUR BABY IS GONNA DIE." (Seriously, you can search "pregnancy hiccups" and there's some grim reaper on a thread.)

Alarmed, I rang the doctor on call. "Sounds like your water broke. Time to go to the maternity ward," she said pleasantly. "Congrats!" Wait...what? It was too early! My to-do list wasn't finished! It was 20 minutes until my obstetrician got in; I'd double-check with her. When I spoke with her, she sounded surprised and also told me head to the hospital. "It could be cervical mucus," she said. Oh good, I thought, I'll get checked out and go home. I tossed together an overnight bag (just in case), and we made the trip to Cedars-Sinai.



In the triage room, a lovely resident examined me. When she checked my cervix, a woosh of liquid flowed out. "Your water definitely broke," she says. "And your cervix is 80 percent effaced. You're having a baby today!" Erik and I blinked at each other. "So I'm not leaving?" I asked. She laughed and explained that the light cramps I'd been feeling were actually contractions. Because my water was already broken and I was at risk for infection, they gave me pitocin to speed things up.

Around 1 p.m., they wheeled me to the maternity ward. It was a clear, sunny day, and my room had a gorgeous view of the Hollywood hills and sign. I was feeling fine, so I turned to Erik. "Can you hand me my computer? I think I can finish up this one story before real labor starts." He laughed. "You're so New York right now."

Before he could reach for my laptop, the pitocin kicked in and my uterus seized up. So this was labor. For the next hour or so, the contractions increased steadily. "Should I get my epidural now?" I asked. For some reason, I felt like I needed to experience labor before getting one. After I breathed through an intense bout, the verdict was in: I decided on a walking epidural, which is basically like Painkiller Lite. It dulls the pain, but still gives you function of your legs. (With a full epidural, you're completely numbed and can't walk.)

The anesthesiologist came in and administered the IV. I knew it was a big, scary needle injected into the spine, but I was so focused on my contractions that I didn't pay attention as I grasped Erik's hands. The result was as promised: My contractions felt less like searing pain and more like intense pressure that I breathed through.



Throughout it all, I kept wanting a point of reference. "How long before I push? How I do I know when it's time?" I asked the nurse, an amazing pro named Marina who had the steady earthiness of a yoga instructor. "Since it's your first time, it's usually hours and hours," she responded. Huh. "But it feels like body just wants to push; it's almost harder to hold back," I gasped. She looked at me sharply, and then examined my cervix. "You're 10 millimeters," she said. "It's time to push!"

My immediate response: "Wait, is it too late to get a full epidural? I want a full epidural!" She said something calm and reassuring, but I could tell that I wasn't going to get one. HOLY BANANAS CRAP. During each contraction, I pushed as hard as I could three times, with Erik and Marina cheering me on. Erik held my hand and gave me a cold washcloth; I was sweating from all of the adrenaline. Funnily, pushing didn't feel at all like I thought it would. In fact, it's exactly like you're doing a enormous number-two. It's the same straining movement. I pushed on my back, side, and on my hands and knees.

In a lot of ways, active labor reminded me of the inside section of a brutal set or mile 23 of the marathon. I was so exhausted and wanted to rest/give up, but everyone kept encouraging me through through the pain. Each contraction was like all-out sprint. Between each burst, I was so tired that I almost drifted to sleep. I couldn't tell how much progress I was making -- Marina told me that Lola was inching down the birth canal. Finally, she said excitedly, "I can see the crown!" I turned to Erik, who looked at me wide-eyed. The doctor, a friendly, upbeat woman, joined us. I kept pushing; after about 1.5 hours of active labor (and 5-6 hours total), Lola was crowning. That was one of the most intense moments of my life. "A few more giant pushes," cheered my doctor. Erik was a champ. I had been nervous that he'd freeze up or pass out because of the blood, but he remained calm and encouraging. I gathered every ounce of strength I had left, and at 6:03 p.m. -- woosssshh! -- I felt her slippery body slide out.



What followed was surreal: The nurses laid Lola on my chest, and Erik and I just stared at her and each other. I couldn't believe that she was here! It's true what they say about motherhood: That rush of hormones and adrenaline immediately turns into the purest, most intense love. I hardly noticed as I delivered the placenta and the doctor collected my cord blood for the public bank and stitched me up; my eyes followed Lola, who was getting checked out by the pediatrician (because she was one week premature).

Marina brought Lola back to me and placed her on my chest. I breastfed her, and she immediately latched. I've never felt closer to another human in that moment. They wheeled us into the recovery ward, and I made eye contact with a woman walking through a contraction. "Congrats," she winced. "It's worth it!" I beamed.



After countless tests and checks from nurses and doctors, it was finally just our little family of three. Erik and I spent much of the time staring at our perfect little person. When he held her, it was as if a million rays of light was shining out of my heart.



Because Lola was premature, we stayed in the hospital two nights. I'm happy we stayed that extra day, because it was a crash-course in baby-rearing coupled with the pain of recovery. (Post-partum is a doozy…more on that later!)

My labor experience was such a surprise. It was easier than what I thought it'd be, thanks to the quick timeline, walking epidural, and wonderful, competent Cedars-Sinai staff. It was also the most beautiful experience. My body knew exactly what to do, and Erik's level-headed nature was so reassuring.

Most of all, I'm beyond grateful to have our healthy, determined, gorgeous, funny, grunting little Lola in our life. Sure, motherhood is about exhaustion, selflessness, and responsibility, but I've discovered that it's brimming with pure joy, laughter, and fun. Lola, I'm so glad you're ours.

welcome, lola!

Say hello to Lola! She charged into this world nearly a whopping month early. We were caught off guard, to say the least. I can't wait to write up her birth story, so I can remember it forever, but just wanted to do a little update of this crazy, exhausting, and amazing time. We're so smitten with this determined, silly girl, and I've totally turned into that mom who fawns over her baby's every move. More to come...

24 hours in Palm Springs

Last week, Erik and I realized that we hadn't taken a babymoon yet. Both of us are pretty swamped, so we decided on a quick trip to Palm Springs. A Sunday night stay at the Saguro was crazy cheap, so we booked it and hopped in the car yesterday morning.



It was a quick and easy two-hour trip. En route, we stopped at the Cabazon dinosaurs. Pee-Wee's Big Adventure was one of my favorite childhood movies, so it was rad seeing them in person. We skipped the museum and just snapped some pictures while stretching our legs. The drive into Palm Springs itself is gorgeous; we passed hundreds of windmills set in front of a snow-capped rock mountain.



Since I'm slow and turtle-like at this point, we decided to go full-on lazy on this trip. After getting a couples' massage, we spent the afternoon lounging by the pool. It felt like a true indulgent vacation; we dipped in the cool water surrounded by the Starburst-colored hotel and beautiful mountain backdrop. A stylish deejay spun tunes. Erik sipped watermelon margaritas and allowed me the tiniest taste. A drunk dude with a tribal tattoo took one look at my basketball belly and came over to bless me, Erik, and the baby. For dinner, we went downtown for Vietnamese fusion at the Rooster and the Pig. So good!



The next day, we slept in and spent a leisurely morning chatting, feeling baby kicks, and watching CNN. After checkout, we had a delicious breakfast at Cheeky's (hello, bacon flight!) before heading out. We checked out a few outlet stores and ate Inn-N-Out before arriving home around 2:30.

Erik and I couldn't get over how convenient, quick, and affordable our little getaway was. I'm excited to go back to Palm Springs when I'm not hugely pregnant, so we can take advantage of all the cool hikes and outdoorsy adventures. So stoked to be living in Southern California!

pregnancy lately: 35 weeks

We're rounding the corner and headed down the homestretch! I was joking with Erik that I kind of feel like a celebrity on the street these days. Everyone does a double-take or wants to talk to me when they see my humongous belly.

How I'm feeling: This is a reality. Last week, my belly started feeling a little uncomfortable; sometimes baby will press against my spine or side. That's when it hit me: This baby is coming out of (fingers crossed) my vagina. Holy crap.

What I'm wanting: I'm trying to tie up all the loose ends. When I went into my 35-week ultrasound, the technician mentioned that she was checking my amniotic fluid levels. "If they're low, they might want to induce labor today," she remarked, pressing the paddle on my belly. Um, say WHAT?! Our crib hasn't arrived yet! I haven't hung up the nursery pictures or baby's mobile! I haven't written my birth plan! I have 10 outstanding deadlines! I'm only two weeks away of coming to term (read: it's normal and safe for baby to come at 37 weeks or after), so I gotta get my rear in gear.

What I'm surprised about: Last week, Erik and I went to go see The Jungle Book movie. It was so good, but the 3D tickets were $20 a pop. As I watched a family of four carrying popcorn file by, I remarked to Erik, "Geez, they must've spent more than $100 tonight!" As the words left my mouth, I realized how much I sounded like my darling but oh-so-cheap dad. Are we destined to turn into our own parents? Am I going to make my baby girl wear a winter jacket indoors because I refuse to turn on the heat? I have been thinking more about our long-term finances lately, because having a baby isn't cheap.

Oh, also! Baby is already 6 pounds, 4 ounces, measuring in the 77th percentile. The doc guesses that she'll be around 8 pounds at birth, which is healthy and above the average of 7 pounds, 5 ounces. I had assumed she'd be smaller, since Erik and I aren't giants. I'm just crossing every finger and toe that she'll be healthy and happy.

What I miss: I'm already feeling nostalgic our pre-baby freedom and trips. It's interesting, though. When I see my friends' spur-of-the-moment travels and adventures on my Insta feed, I don't think, "man, I wish I was doing that!" I definitely have this calm sense of being where I'm supposed to be in life. But it is bittersweet temporarily closing this chapter of hey-wanna-go-to-Sweden-this-weekend? until baby's bigger.

What I love: The other day, I read a mom describe being pregnant as feeling like the most important person in the world. It sounds so egomaniacal, but there is a sense of that, in the best possible way. As excited I am to get back to my normal body, I think I'm going to miss being pregnant. There is something so beautiful if sharing this experience with other women, and this intimate bond with my daughter. Also, it's nice to be able to blame everything on pregnancy hormones, including this lapse of sappiness.

silverlake ramble

One of our favorite pastimes in New York was a good walkabout. We'd spend the day wandering through neighborhoods and stopping for delicious snacks. Yesterday, we attempted the Los Angeles driving version. After a leisurely morning of breakfast and yoga, plus a stop at a children's clothing store, we headed up to Silverlake, which is supposed to be the Williamsburg of Los Angeles. We ate most delicious fish tacos on earth and people-watched the California hipsters at a coffee shop (healthier-looking and more groomed than Brooklyn hipsters). We wandered into charming specialty boutiques, and I made Erik take a ton of bump-watch shots in front of murals. On the way home, we ran a few more errands before snuggling up with Monkey on the couch. All in all, a lovely afternoon! I missed the vibrancy NYC's street performers and tired legs, though my giant belly appreciated the car ride home. The face-off verdict? Grateful for my time in the city, but happy to be here now in this stage of my life.

pregnancy lately: 33 weeks

Lots going on in the baby front over here! I'm in full-on belly/waddle mode.

How I'm feeling: Good and energetic. Once a while, someone on the street will say, "any day now!" and I'll think "for what?" then realize that they're talking about my belly. Ha! Emotionally, I'm feeling prepared. We have most of the stuff we need to keep baby alive, and attended our childbirth class and hospital tour.

What I'm wanting: All the carbs. I got diagnosed with gestational diabetes two weeks ago (damn genetics!), so I have to prick my finger three times a day and stick to a pretty strict low-carb diet. On the plus side, I'm eating crazy healthy, so it's good for me and baby. But, as someone who rarely watches what she eats, it's a challenge to have food restrictions. It makes me realize how lucky I am not to have a food allergy or a propensity to obesity.

What I'm surprised about: The nonstop doctor's visits. They're scheduled in my calendar, but I don't think I fully realized how much I'd have to go to the doc. Factor in my sugar-betes specialist visits, and I've been averaging one to two trips a week. With travel and waiting room, that's a whole lot of time. I haven't let up on work pre-maternity leave, so it's been hectic. How do office workers manage? I can't imagine making this schedule work back when I was on staff.

What I miss: Little things, like tying my shoes and getting off the couch without a struggle. I feel like a upside-down bug much of the time. Also, a short to-do list. Everyone talks about pregnancy brain being caused by hormones, but I suspect having 1,000,000 more things to think about plays a factor. On top of my normal shiz, there's finding a pediatrician, remembering appointments, calling the health insurance company, buying baby gear, planning out a budget, writing a birth plan, etc. It's funny, though, because I don't feel stressed about it. Maybe the whole super-mom thing kicks in to offset pregnancy fog?

What I love: Augh, so much! I love connecting with dear friends about being moms and hearing their advice and stories. I love feeling baby's kicks inside, talking to her, and imaging her little face. I love hearing Erik talk about all the things he's planning on doing with our baby girl (cue tears). I love walking through this incredible phase of life with Erik, my brother and sis-in-law, and Erik's business parter. Don't get me wrong, parts of pregnancy do suck (my refrain to Erik: "you better be glad I'm the pregnant one"), but it's also filled with endless joy.

beach baby shower

The week that we move into our new apartment, I was feeling pretty shell-shocked. It had been the craziest cross-country move, and everything was starting to dawn on me. I was thousands of miles away from my friends and mom, starting over in a brand-new city. I was having a baby. Everything was changing. What was I doing?

That's when an invite popped into my email … for my baby shower. But I didn't know anyone in Los Angeles. I was confused. Finally, Erik explained that my friends were all going to fly in and host a California beach baby shower. I was so shocked! It's one of the sweetest things anyone has ever done for me, and I was over-the-moon excited to see everyone.



On the weekend, my brother and sis-in-law flew in, and then we all drove down to Sunset Beach. The girls had rented an amazing house a few blocks from the beach, complete with my dream kitchen and an elevator (!). It was the perfect weekend: We barbecued, laughed, and caught up. The girls got some surfs in, and we walked to the famous Huntington Pier. They also gave me the sweetest presents for baby girl.

I know this is going to be all sorts of cliched, but the biggest present of all was seeing all of their faces. I'm so touched, and beyond lucky to have such beautiful, strong, smart, and adventurous women in my life. Baby girl is going to learn so much from each of them!

hiking runyon canyon

On Saturday, I was itching to get out and exercise, so I decided to go on a long walk. Which turned into a hike to and in Runyon Canyon. At 7.5 months pregnant. All told, I covered about eight or nine miles, which actually sped by quickly — hooray for third-trimester energy. Another late pregnancy perk: Everyone cheers for you! I felt like I was running the NYC marathon, with all the smiling faces and encouragement I got along the way. Anyway, it's so nice to have all that nature and sunshine just a hike away.

my pregnancy must-haves

Now that I'm the home stretch of pregnancy, I thought I'd share all my pregnant-lady recommendations. The truth is that I've barely bought anything these past (almost!) eight months. In fact, my overall lifestyle hasn't changed dramatically — except that I stopped surfing and running in my second trimester and I need more sleep. That said, here are the things that I swear by:

1. Prenatal vitamins. Duh. I bought Nature's Made off of Amazon, plus some krill-oil omega-3's for baby's brain. I've also been loading up on chia and flax in my smoothies and yogurt.

2. What to Expect When You're Expecting. There's really nothing in this book that you can't find online, but it's been fun to read the week-by-week descriptions with Erik. Plus, buying it made me feel like I was being a responsible pregnant lady. Sure, I may be moving cross-country, homeless, and buried beneath deadlines, but, hey, I have a guidebook!

3. Maternity jeans. One of the perks of working from home is wearing leggings all day and not having to invest in maternity wardrobe. I wasn't a fan of those full-belly-panel jeans, so I bought a pair from J. Crew and have pretty much worn them every day since. I also got a similar pair of black skinnies from J Brand to wear to work events. Figure I can wear these post-baby (and tempted to wear them for the rest of my life, since, hello, stretchy waist).

4. Long tops. I have five of these Everlane tank tops in different colors because I love them so much. They're also one of the only shirts that I own that's long enough to stretch over my baby belly. I've mostly been wearing those and Erik's old shirts as a pajamas. I did buy a striped long-sleeve shirt and nursing top from ASOS, and should probably get some shorts soon.

5. Trader Joe's jojoba oil. I think stretch marks are mostly genetic. So far, I've been spared, but I still moisturize with this lightweight oil. I've been showering more often because the heat feels so nice on my muscles, so it's become my moisturizing best friend.

6. Workout DVDs. I got Hilaria Baldwin's yoga for moms-to-be off of a giveaway table at some point, and I've actually been using it! It was a little too slow for my taste during the first two trimesters, but now it's my speed. I also Denise Austin's prenatal cardio workout on YouTube, which is cheesy but gets the job done.

7. Prenatal (kind of) massage. During the second trimester, my back constantly ached; it was adjusting to the new weight of my belly and boobs. So I searched for a good pre-natal massage and learned that they often cost way more, which is annoying. Just for the pillow? In desperation, I went to my local Chinese place. Dude seemed as if he'd massaged pregnant ladies a billion times, and had me lie on my side instead of face-down. It was so good that I literally had tears in my eyes. So worth the $50.

afternoon in malibu

After such a hectic few weeks, we decided to take a mini-break and check out Malibu on Saturday. After a leisurely breakfast at home, we made our way to Santa Monica and then drove north up the Pacific Coast Highway. The city quickly melted into a beautiful coastline dotted with gorgeous homes. In about an hour, we pulled over at a fish shack to eat tacos and soak up the beautiful view.



Surfline said one to two feet, but it looked like perfect two to four feet peelers. I watched as graceful long boarders danced down the waves. I can't wait to get back into the ocean!



Then we headed to El Matador Beach State Park, which is a gorgeous beach set beneath a dramatic rocky ridge. We explored the rock outcroppings, caves, and tide pools. Although it was a spring-like day, a handful of people sunbathed and frolicked in the turquoise ocean.

Afterwards, we feasted on clam chowder and fried oysters and then drove home on a scary, twisty mountain road straight out of a sports car commercial. The scenery was breathtaking, but I was glad Erik was driving. We hit a little traffic coming home, but got home before 7.



What a lovely and relaxing afternoon at the beach! I can see why people call this the Best Coast. I can't wait to explore more of this gorgeous coastline.

6 things… (California edition)

It's been one thing after another over here, but we're rolling with the punches and finding a lot of joy in life. Here are some things we've done recently:

1. Become chain-store regulars. Between setting up our home and buying baby gear, we've become regulars at Target, Babies R Us, IKEA, and Ralph's. Who would've guessed, but we love it! After 15 years of shopping at the local Brooklyn C-Town, I can't stop freaking out in these big box stores: "Erik, look at the selection! Look how cheap this is!" I feel like an alien, or maybe Crocodile Dundee.
2. Gobbled down tacos. It's like we've died and gone to taco truck heaven! So many delicious and fresh options for only $1 a piece. There are two amazing trucks a short walk from our house.
3. Went to yoga. My husband has gone full-on Los Angeles (Angelean?), and I was able to talk him into trying out a class at the studio up the street. We took a beginner class that was a little too gentle (we barely left our backs), so I think we'll step it up next time.
4. Saw our new ob-gyn. I was sweating this, because I'm too far along to find a new one. I was so relieved as soon as she walked into the exam room. She's the kind of woman I'd want to be around if the world was coming to an end.
5. Caught up with my friend Ana. She's another amazing person that I'd want to be around during a crisis. I can't express how awesome it is to have a friend in the city, and one that's a cool surfer mom to boot. She's the best.
6. Bought a stroller, our first major baby purchase. We're totally clueless, so we crowdsourced friends, acquaintances, and random people on the street. We wound up with a Britax travel system … we'll see how it goes!

yesterday...

…Erik's father passed away. Since he lived in Ecuador for the first part of our relationship, I've only got to spend time with him during a handful of holidays, after old age and dementia had taken a toll. But I was always drawn to his kind, mischievous eyes; his affection for animals; and Erik's stories of him as a vivacious character, the life of the party. It's a testament to him that he created the amazing human that's now my husband, my calm guy who has weathered this hectic, tumultuous month with such grace, steadiness, and humor.

pregnancy lately: 28 weeks

Hello, third trimester! I can't believe we're in the home stretch now. (Full disclosure: This pic is from the end of my 27th week, but you get the idea.)

How I'm feeling: Besides my huge belly, I'm feeling like my old self again. Erik and I have been running around Los Angeles, exploring our neighborhood and setting up our home, and I haven't missed a beat. I'm a little slower on my feet and get breathless when walking up stairs. One weird new development: My hands are really achy, almost arthritic-like, in the mornings. I think it's because I always wind up on my back during sleep, restricting circulation and causing swelling.

What I'm wanting: I've read that pregnant women have an innate desire to nest, but that was pushed to the back burner during our move crisis. Now that we're mostly settled, it's kicked in … and I'm on a mission to get baby gear. My rational brain knows that we still have a few months, and there's no need to get everything at once since newborns don't need much. But lately my emotional brain has won, which is why we went to the baby store yesterday. Doing my best to not succumb to marketing and the culture of consumerism, but it's tempting to fall into the "but I want my baby to be safe and happy, so I NEED this $200 electronic warmer thingie!" trap.

What I'm surprised about: The other day, I heard Erik saying, "ohhhh!" from the other room, while I was Googling baby gear. My immediate reaction: "Man, he's watching a music video while I'm doing all the research." I wandered over to his office, and caught him saying "ohhhh!" in reaction to a YouTube video of a V-blogger shutting a stroller with one hand. That man. I love him. (And a reminder that I should never jump to huffy or irrational conclusions.)

What I miss: Our new place is surrounded by so many delicious Japanese restaurants, and I've been so jealous of Erik's spicy salmon rolls and bowls. I also miss my friends, of course, which has got me thinking about making new neighborhood friends for the first time in forever. Should I join a mom's group?

What I love: A few of our dear friends/family are also pregnant/new parents. It's been so wonderful sharing updates and getting advice. Also loving: hearing my mom's joy; feeling baby's kicks inside; and watching Erik become the best dad already. It's also been fun getting congratulations and encouraging smiles from random strangers, now that I'm obviously pregnant.

At the start of this pregnancy, I thought it'd be an experience that I'd want to end as quickly as possible … but I'm actually enjoying this journey. As a tried-and-true tomboy, I've never felt more womanly. What a scary, exciting, and beyond special time … I can't wait to become a mom!

finally home

Well, that was a doozy of a move! Where should I even begin? Let's start with two weeks ago. I was wrapping up loose ends and having a good-bye lunch with a friend when a text from Erik pinged on my phone: "Huge issue with the apartment." My heart skipped a beat. Our worst-case scenario had come true: The place we signed a lease on fell through (looooooong story), so we were essentially homeless in two days. We were packing up all of our worldly possessions, flying cross-country with a cat, and landing in Los Angeles with no place to stay. Gahhhhhh!

Thank heavens I married a level-headed rock of a man. Erik kept me from freaking out, and I've never been so grateful for my Polyanna temperament (although I did fluctuate like a crazy person): "Holy crap, Erik. This sucks! Well, it could be worse. At least we're both healthy and no one is sick. Holy crap, Erik. What are we going to do? "

The next week was spent in full-on crisis mode. We arranged to have our stuff moved to storage; re-routed all of our mail and payments; put the furniture we bought on hold; cleared out our old apartment; scrambled to line up viewings for new apartments; booked temporary housing at an AirBnB; and said good-bye to the best friends in the entire universe. Oh, and stayed up late to meet some deadlines in-between.

Our cat gave us some solace from the mess that was our lives. Although she's terrified to leave the house, she was an angel the entire move. She purred on my lap for cross-country flight, which I'm sure breaks every FAA regulation in the book. (Thank you nice Virgin flight attendants for letting us slide.) We landed late Friday, and on Saturday morning, we hit the ground running. Erik and I were the Amazing Race of apartment hunting; we saw 20-plus homes over the weekend. As it turns out, being desperate and seven months pregnant makes you desirable tenants. We wound up getting our two top choices, and decided on a sweet place in a Spanish-style home. We signed the lease on Tuesday and moved in Wednesday morning.

We're still unpacking, but we love it so far! Our place is surrounded by greenery, flowers, and hummingbirds, but we're a short walk away from delicious restaurants, taco trucks, Trader Joe's (!), parks, and the art museum. There's enough room for Erik and I both to have our own offices, plus a little extra room for baby. So all's well that ends well, but what a time! There's nothing like a crisis to make you truly appreciate your amazing and supportive friends, family, and husband.

pregnancy lately: 25 weeks

Just finished up my 25th week of pregnancy… One more week left of my second trimester!

How I'm feeling: Pretty good! I'm still on the sluggish side, but I think that's because I've been trapped inside because of the constant snow and freezing weather. Also I've been going bananas getting ready for our move, which has been energy-draining to say the least. My belly's gotten big enough that it's in the way of things; I'm starting to swell like a water balloon; and people can tell that I'm pregnant. Still can't get a seat on the subway, though. For real, L train?

What I'm wanting: All the food; my appetite is in high gear. For the most part, I eat whenever I'm hungry, which is every two hours or so, but I try to stick with nutritious foods. (Well, except for that Minetta Tavern Black Label Burger and Junior's cheesecake … getting those last NYC treats in.) Lately, I'm all about acai smoothies, mangoes, red meat, and cheese. I gained 10 pounds last month (!), putting me at 15 pounds total. It's fun to be curvy for once!

What I'm surprised about: I have to do a double-take every time I pass by a mirror. My belly button is starting to poke outwards. It's amazing what the body can do. I'm pleased how I'm taking things in stride. Because of our move, we've done almost nothing to prep for baby, except for sign up for a childbirth class. Normally, I'd be in a tizzy, but it's not really bothering me at all. I figure we'll get it all done once we get settled in Los Angeles.

What I miss: Starting to get separation anxiety about leaving my dear friends in NYC. Also I've been dying for Chipotle, but Erik is so nervous about E. coli that I haven't been eating it. That didn't stop me from staring longingly in the window like a creeper for a good few minutes. Ha.

What I love: Being pregnant is an amazing experience. I didn't think I'd feel this way, but I'm constantly in awe and so proud that I'm CARRYING ANOTHER PERSON. I'm grateful for this opportunity, especially knowing how hard other couples have it when it comes to conceiving. To hear her heartbeat and feel her kicks in my belly … it's indescribable! Sometimes I feel like my heart is going to burst, and she's not even born yet.

a little old, a lot new

Can you believe all of that food was just $20? I spent last week with my mom in North Carolina, and we had lunch at K&W Cafeteria one day. This relic has not changed in decades. It has the same weird-patterned carpet and 65-plus clientele. I was immediately transported to childhood when I grabbed my plastic tray and answered the "heeeullp yeewww?"s down the buffet line. There's the same menu: Southern classics like Jell-O salad, roast beef, fried okra, and a pie assortment. There's even a gross bowl of mints with a spoon at the check-out. Take that, health department!

I think I clung to K&W's sameness because everything else in my life is in flux. Much of our stuff is boxed up, and we're starting to clear out our furniture on Craig's List. This trip to NC will be my last time seeing mom until the fall - after we add another person to our family. The chaos surrounding change is always a little unsettling, but I'm doing my best to embrace this next adventure in our life!

meeting grandpa

Today I took baby to meet her gong gong. I miss him more than ever, because I know he'd be over the moon about being a grandpa. He always lit up around kids, especially babies. When she gets older, I'll tell her all about my dad and how he was the most selfless, kind, hard-working, and devoted dad. It's because of him that I waited to find a man for myself with all those qualities.

And it's because of him that I know I'll love my daughter unconditionally. I hope I'm at least half the parent as he was to me. Love you always, Babi. xo

beginning of good-bye

T minus 18 days! I can't believe my 15-year run in NYC is coming to an end. While we're ready for our next chapter, I'm starting to get all the feels. Yesterday, we went on one of our favorite pastimes, a Manhattan walkabout. We started at Babies-R-Us to do some baby gear research, which was like entering another universe. Who knew there was so much stuff at such astronomical prices? Erik had me cracking up the whole time with his running commentary. We're going to the same approach as we did for our wedding: Trim excess, tune out the you-oughtas, and find what works for us.

Afterwards, we grabbed a chocolate babka at Breads Bakery in Union Square, wandered through Washington Square Park and the village, and snacked on a Mamoun's falafel. For dinner, we split a huge pastrami reuben at Katz's. I had never made it to this NYC institution before, and it didn't disappoint. The pastrami was tender and delicious, and the atmosphere was classic. Check one off of my must-do-before-we-move list!

freelance life: maternity leave

When it comes to freelancing, there are countless benefits: the freedom, home office, a cute furry coworker, flexible vacation days. I've been so thankful that I can take a nap in the middle of the day. (Seriously, pregnant office workers, how do you do it?)

Unfortunately, paid maternity leave is not one of the perks.

Figuring out maternity leave as a freelancer isn't easy. I worry that if I drop out of the market, editors will forget about me, and I'll never work again. Of course, that's catastrophic, but there is an element of truth to it. Plus, I love my career and don't want to give up my salary.

So here's our plan: I'm taking two complete months off after baby's birth. Since I'm on contract at a few places, I notified those editors in advance, and offered a few strategies (finding a fill-in person or shuffling around the deadlines). They were all lovely and accommodating. In August, I'll come back part time to those editing gigs — and then feel out what I can do with my other piecemeal work. Since Erik is planning on working from home until he finds an office space, I figure I'll be able to carve out at least two days worth of work per week, broken into chunks. But I'm keeping an open mind, because who knows what reality will be like; at some point, I imagine we'll find part-time childcare.

In the meantime, I've been front-loading this year. In other words, I'm meeting deadlines like mad. It works out, since I'm mostly home-bound this winter anyways. I've made enough headway into my year-end goal to feel comfortable about the unexpected post-baby.

All in all, I feel like it's a good deal. I'm stoked that we have the flexibility to stay home with our little one and still pursue our career dreams and ambitions.

pregnant surfing

One of the hardest things about pregnancy is putting things you love on hold -- sushi, alcohol, soft unpasteurized cheeses. For me, charging challenging waves is also on that list. Even so, I had fun surfing through my fourth month and probably would've kept going, if it wasn't for winter's snowstorms, freezing water temps, and top-entry 5/4 wetsuits. Since most of the stories I read on pregnant surfing came from pros like Bethany Hamilton and seasoned water-women, I thought I'd blog my experience.

Some background: I've been surfing for about four years. I have a good grasp on catching waves, going down the line, and doing some turns, but I'm by no means amazing; I still wipe out during sessions. Here are some lessons I learned and things I did while pregnant surfing:

1. Surfed the leftovers. For me, my greatest concern wasn't wiping out; it was getting hit by another board. My break is crowded Rockaway, so I always opted for the emptier beach, even if it wasn't breaking as nicely. I also avoided crowds by sitting away from the peak.

2. Swallowed my pride. To avoid wipe-outs, I only went for waves that I knew I could make for sure, which meant passing up steeper waves where I was in prime position. I trusted my instinct; my protective urges were already in high gear. Once in a while, I got a "that scared girl blew it" looks, which, if you know me, is the thing that pisses me off the most! But then I'd envision my baby, safe in sound inside, and my annoyance would immediately disappear.

3. Told people in the lineup. Even before the second trimester, I told my surf buddies that I was preggo. I'd also mention it to other surfers I'd chat with in the water -- just in cased anything happened, and also so they'd be careful around me. I joked with my friends that I wanted to write "PREGNANT" or "BABY ON BOARD" on my wetsuit to keep people from dropping in me.

4. Accounted for the extra weight. In my third and fourth months, I started to notice that I wouldn't make waves that I'd normally make - because of the extra belly weight. So I took that into account, and sat a tiny bit deeper and skipped the "maybe…" waves. I surfed my 5'10" the whole time; it has plenty of volume and my 4/3 wetsuit provided enough padding to keep it from getting uncomfortable (although I tried to spend the least amount of time on my belly).

5. Ditched my board. I can duck-dive on smaller days, but on bigger days, I'll make it about half the time. If I ever felt like I wasn't going to make it on a paddle out, I'd dive deep and let my board go -- of course, only if I knew for sure I wasn't surrounded by anyone.

6. Protected my belly. Because I was so careful, I rarely wiped out, but when I did, I'd grab my belly first to shield it from a flying board.

7. Paddled in early. Usually, I'm the queen of four-hour surf sessions. But I forced myself to call it quits before I felt ready. With pregnancy, exhaustion and dehydration can hit like a ton of bricks out of nowhere. Also I know I'm less careful when I'm tired. So I paddled in before I was tired, and made sure that I ate and drank a ton on surf days.

8. Knew when to call it quits. I've had a little FOMO since I stopped, especially during these East Coast swells and our annual girls' trip to Costa. But, much to my surprise, I don't feel bad about it. Maybe it's that mom instinct kicking in, but keeping baby safe is my number-one priority, and everything else pales in comparison. Plus, I know that the waves will always be there -- and I'm sure I'll be back on my board in no time!


Bonus: Blurry baby on a baby wave in Rincon:

6 things...

…I did this week:

1. Did a TV appearance (see makeup-face above). Hosting and public speaking don't come naturally to me, and I usually spend the day or two beforehand scrambling to put together an appropriate outfit and feeling stressed. But I think it's important to do things that challenge and scare you, and force you to step outside of your comfort zone. In the end, it went great, and I had a fun time. Personal growth!
2. Felt grumpy. This week was a perfect storm for grouchiness: I was dealing with my nerves, deadlines, and pregnancy fatigue, while Erik was battling a nasty cold and business dealings. To add to that, we were trapped inside because of the snowy slushiness. It made me thankful we know how to defuse our irritation without taking it out on each other. The highlight was when Erik was trying to help, and I snapped, "Let me be angry and wash some dishes, dude! Aughhhh!" We both dissolved into giggles.
3. Hired movers. I still can't believe this is happening.
4. Got massaged. I've been dying for one, but pre-natal massages are so pricey. So I wandered into the Chinese bodywork place, and laid on my side to accommodate my growing belly. Best 50 bucks I've ever spent.
5. Had my wallet returned. On the way back from my massage, my wallet must've dropped out of my pocket, and I didn't even realize it! (Hello, pregnancy brain.) The sweetest woman buzzed my door and gave it back. What are the odds of that happening? I'm the luckiest.
6. Watched baby in my belly. I can see my belly move now with her little kicks!

snow days

Late Friday evening, winter storm Jonas hit, blanketing the city in nearly 30 inches of snow. It was the perfect excuse to hole up inside. I slept in, cooked, edited, wrote, watched movies, researched furniture, and chatted with my brother. So relaxing. On Sunday, the blizzard finally ceased, and I met a friend for coffee and a quick grocery shop. In the evening, Erik and I watched baby-care YouTube videos and practiced holds on our cat. I have a feeling Erik is going to be the baby whisperer around here. Ha!

our little thumb sucker

On Friday, Erik and I went for our 20-week anatomy scan. Our little girl is healthy and absolutely perfect. It was magical to see how much she's grown. We could see each tiny finger and toe, and she even did some drinking and thumb-sucking. We were in awe! Some stats: She's seven ounces and in the 77 percentile, and I've gained a total of nine pounds. I can even feel her kicks now, usually in the evening and morning; it's like the lightest tickle-tap from inside my belly. That sensation is one of the very best things I've ever felt in my whole life. It's funny how something so natural can seem like such a miraculous feat. As Drake would say, what a time to be alive!