Phew! I finally pushed through my insane week! Between Europe and then Raleigh and all of the changes that ensued, my life has been go-go-go lately. And now that I finally have a little time to stand still, my emotions are bubbling to the surface. Here's a rundown:
* I feel sad about my dad. It really, really sucks that he won't get to walk me down the aisle or meet any of his grandkids.
* I feel nervous about my mom being alone. After her stroke, her mobility is limited, but she refuses to move closer to us until we're more settled (i.e., with kids). I worry about her loneliness and her health.
* I feel stressed about changing my life. I'm going to visit mom once a month to hang out, take her to the doctor, iron out survivor stuff. I'm mostly happy to do it, but the selfish part of me is like "eeps" about travelling back-and-forth. When I'm there, I miss my life, my friends, and Erik and Monkey.
I know it's my happy-go-lucky personality to find the silver lining in every situation, because there are so, so, so many things in my life to be thankful for, but I also have to remind myself that it's okay to feel sad and frustrated, too. I guess life is a little like surfing in that way: You have to give into to fear and washing-machine wipeouts in order to get better and ride out the waves.
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